This story was sent to me by one of my adult students - Thank You Shelly
As far as my experience goes with bullies in school, I was afraid of them. I was not a prime target, but they affected my experience very much. In Junior High I was a very socially conscious girl. I could not relax around others. I was often times verbally frozen by social anxiety and fears of confrontation. I was out sick for most the year because of this. The times I did go to school, I somehow found a facial expression and toughness in demeanor that kept the bullies at bay.
I remember one girl in school who was not this lucky. She was a prime target for bullies because she didn’t have the animal instinct to protect herself. She was unable to fit herself into any of the main clusters of people who had protection in numbers. She was all alone and defenseless. She didn’t wear makeup, her cloths were not the latest fashion. She had thick blond hair that hung down and covered one of her eyes. I remember she was funny and quirky and approachable. The kind of person you instantly feel comfortable around. But for some reason she was labeled a geek and a loser. No one wanted to be seen talking to her. She was made fun of daily.
I remember one bully in particular. He was a very popular boy with almost white blond hair from the surfer-skater clan. He was very abusive towards this girl. He would call her names, make fun of how she looked, make her move out of her seat. No-one ever stood up for her, not even the teachers. I think they were afraid the bully would turn toward them. It reminds me of the theory about animals letting the weakest be devoured in order to survive themselves. If the bully feasted on this poor weak girl. He would be full and would leave the rest of us alone. She wasn’t a poor weak girl though. She would stick up for her self amidst thousands of people who did nothing. She would say whatever she could think of to fight back. She was stronger than any of us.
I did stand up for her once. On the bleachers during gym in between some activity. This bully was attacking her. It was merciless and going on for sometime. Something inside me just couldn’t take it anymore. My anger at that little popular jerk grew stronger then my fears. I told him to leave her alone. Then he came toward me with the attack. He told me to shut-up and asked me if I was her best friend. That’s the moment I always regret. I should have said “yes” or something like “I would like her to be”. Instead I just said “no”. I couldn’t go that far for some reason. I feel ashamed about that moment. I was very young and having trouble trying to survive that vicious high school world myself. But come to think of it, even just that little intervention of the bullying was enough to stop him from attacking her anymore that day. If I had said more, if more than one of us had said something at the same time, if the adults had taken some action, I think it would have made a difference for her. I think it would have stopped the bullying. I’m sure of it. I don’t know where she is or what ever happened to her. I hope she has found kindness and comfort in life with a support system of some kind. Something she definitely did not have during her young years of Junior High School.
No comments:
Post a Comment