Batting 5 for 5

One of the very first kids I worked with in regards to being seriously bullied was a boy in the 4th grade, at a local elementary school. He was tall for his age, and a bit on the chunky side, had red, red hair, wore glasses, had freckles, and a small stutter. When you talk about physical things kids will tease you about he was batting 5 for 5.

His mother came to our martial arts school because a counselor he had started to go to suggested it. His anger issues had boiled over and he was lashing out at everyone around him except the bullies. At our first meeting she said “He needs to get tougher”, he was cornered on the playground and had food thrown at him by a group of 5 kids today, and he didn’t do anything to fight back. The school scolded the boys, talked with their parents and dropped the issue with no follow-up.

We began 20 minute after school lessons, started with teaching him how to carry himself, walk with more confidence, longer stride, head up, look the look of confidence. His stutter made using his voice in a strong forceful manner difficult, but by using short aggressive phrases his voice became powerful and focused. With those concepts in place we did lots and lots of roll playing, helping him see himself successfully defending himself.

This story has a good ending because he was able to eventually stand up for himself, as time went by I found a nice, gentle, loving kid. He had a little brother he adored and protected.

Many of you who read this will say that bulling made him who he is, made him tougher, you went through this and look where you are – a better person for it. I say maybe your right, but where was the school, the teachers, the administration. This boy has a right to go to school, get an education, and do it in a safe nurturing environment. In fact we demand it, it’s a state law, he has a 6 hour a day Monday through Friday job that he can’t quite. And remember those bullies stopped picking on him, and went on to find someone new to torment. I should’ve been working just as much with the group of bullies as I did with the bullied.